Today is the first day of the rest of your life

I resent inspirational sayings like Coyote resents Road Runner, in the sense that I want to kill them and would happily develop elaborate schemes to do so if I had time but in the absence of that, would also be happy to drop a large weight on them.

This one is particularly ridiculous.

Setting aside the fact that every day is the first day of the rest of your life (“A-ha! but that’s the whole point,” you say, “Because you can turn a corner and be amazing and ride a magical unicorn towards your dreams, like, every day.”) and accordingly, it’s meaningless, if we are to imbue it with the meaning it’s intended to have, it’s not inspirational; it’s really stressful.

If today is the first day of the rest of my life, what the hell am I going to wear?

What should I have for lunch?

Should I call my mother?

As if life wasn’t difficult enough, I now have to attach importance to today, and EVERY DAY FOLLOWING, because it’s the first day of what constitutes the remainder of my time on earth.

No thank you, pal.

I’d prefer to think of today as the last day of my life up til now. That way I can do a bunch of things that I should have got to earlier, but if I don’t; there’s always tomorrow.

(Also, since when did this become an “American Proverb?” Isn’t that stretching it a little?)

ressigma15631com6069Today is the first day of the rest of your life