These people try to make it sound easy but there’s a lot of assumptions built into their flow chart.

  1. Do I consider what I’m doing right now, ‘Life’? …. Right now? In these jeans? I guess.
  2. Do I think I’m going to die? I can obsess about this without any help from a sign, thanks. And anyway, weren’t we promised immortality along with our jetpacks?
  3. Have I committed to a grave per se? Well, no, what about cremation and being buried at sea and let’s not rule out cryogenics.
  4. And then, whoops, suddenly the only options are hellfire or paradise? What about a nice hot cup of tea? Or just a sunny afternoon at the pub. Must we get all gloomy like this? Sorry religious dudes, you’ve lost me completely.