Going to Francesca’s or Just Like That, You Found Out You Were Old: (A One Act Play)

Scene: A Saturday night. Outside a suburban home alongside a second suburban homes. The time is 11.44pm. A large group of 19 year olds are sitting outside the first home wearing party clothes and the front porch light is on. In the second house, a mother and father have been trying to settle their six month old baby for 30 minutes.

19 year old man #1: Let’s just go to Francesca’s.

Mother: [to baby] Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhh.

19 year old man #1: [walks part way down the street, runs back] Let’s just go to Francesca’s.

Mother: [to baby] Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhh.

19 year old man #2: Wait, I think I left my shoes inside.

19 year old woman #1: [flicking hair back] yeah

19 year old woman #2: [walks out, notices people, speaks loudly] Are we going to Francesca’s?

19 year old man #3: Do we need a taxi?

19 year old man #2: Maybe. I’ve just got to get my shoes.

19 year old man #1: Can we just go to Francesca’s?

Mother: [to baby] Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhh.

19 year old woman #2: Where’s Blake?

19 year old man #2: I think he’s inside. I’ll look for him. I’ve got to get my shoes anyway. What does he look like?

19 year old woman #1: I think he went home.

19 year old man #3: Maybe we need two taxis. How many of us are there?

19 year old woman #1: Three

19 year old man #4: Five.

19 year old woman #2: It depends if you count Blake

19 year old man #5: I think it’s more like eight. The others are coming too.

19 year old man #6: Nine, then. I think it’s nine.

19 year old man #2: [returns from inside] I couldn’t find my shoes. Has anyone seen my shoes?

Mother: [to baby] Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhh.

19 year old woman #1: I think I saw them in the bathroom.

19 year old woman #2: Did you see Blake?

19 year old woman #3: [emerges from inside] Are you guys going to Francesca’s?

19 year old man #1: Well, I’m going to Francesca’s.

Mother: [internal dialogue – perhaps in some small way, we are all just going to Francesca’s.] Shhhh, shhhh, shhh.

19 year old man #4: I don’t know Francesca very well.

19 year old woman #1: [flicking hair back] It’s a bar. It’s not a person.

19 year old man #3: I think we do need two taxis.

19 year old man #2: [runs up the street, runs back] Heeeyyyyyyyyy!

19 year old woman #1: [flicking hair back] yeah

Mother: [to baby] Shhhhh. Shhhhh. Shhh.

19 year old man #1: Can we just go to Francesca’s?

Mother: [internal dialogue – Who is Francesca? Is Francesca a metaphor? Francesca is not a real person; she is a destination; she is a journey.] Shhhh, shhhh, shhh.

19 year old man #5: Guys, do you think I should watch Breaking Bad?

19 year old woman #2: Seriously, where’s Blake?

19 year old woman #1: [seemingly unrelated] Of course she did, she’s totally that kind of person.

19 year old woman #4: Is Francesca that girl?

19 year old woman #2: Which girl?

19 year old woman #4: You know.

19 year old woman #1: [flicking hair back] yeah.

19 year old man #2: [runs up the street, runs back] Heeeyyyyyyyyy!

19 year old woman #2: We can’t go without him. Just wait til I come back with him. I’ll just be a minute.

19 year old man #1: I’m going.

19 year old man #4: We have to wait for Blake.

19 year old woman #1: I said, I think he went home.

19 year old man #3: Do you think the trains are still running?

19 year old woman #4: I heard they were going to stop them at 11.

19 year old man #3: No way.

19 year old woman #4: That’s just what I heard.

19 year old man #5: So, should I watch Breaking Bad?

19 year old man #6: Does anyone have a charger?

19 year old man #4: We’re still waiting for Blake.

19 year old woman #2: Typical Blake.

Blake: I’m here! I was just helping a guy look for his shoes.

19 year old woman #1: [flicking hair back] yeah

19 year old woman #2: Blake!

19 year old man #4: Did you find them?

Blake: What?

19 year old man #4: The shoes.

Blake: What?

19 year old man #4: Did you find the shoes?

Blake: No.

19 year old woman #1: I think I saw them in the bathroom.

Blake: Yeah, right. We were looking in the bathroom.

19 year old woman #2: There are two bathrooms. Which one were you looking in?

Blake: The front one.

19 year old woman #1: It was the other bathroom.

Blake: Fuck.

19 year old man #5: I think I will, then. Yeah.

Blake: What?

19 year old man #5: Watch Breaking Bad.

19 year old man #1: Guys, let’s just go to Francesca’s.

19 year old woman #2: I hope Ava is going. But I hope Will isn’t.

Mother: [internal dialogue – We are all Francesca. We are all also going to Francesca’s. Francesca is us but also not us.] Shhhh, shhhh, shhh.

19 year old man #1: Did you hear me? I said, let’s just go to Francesca’s.

Mother: [opens door, spoken in a tone intending to be cool and relaxed but actually coming across as slightly unhinged / aggressive] Hey guys, um…

[19 year olds do not hear Mother]

Father: [loud whisper] What are you doing?

Mother: [loud whisper] I was just going to ask them to move on.

Father: [loud whisper] What time is it?

Mother: [loud whisper] Midnight

Father: [loud whisper] We can’t complain; it’s only 12 o’clock on a Saturday!

Mother: [sighs]

Father: [loud whisper] Why don’t I go in and settle him and you can stand out here in the hall fuming for a while and listening.

Mother: Thanks. I think I will.

19 year old woman #3: Has anyone considered the opportunity cost of going to Francesca’s?

19 year old man #8: [loudly, emerging from house] Guys, guys, guys hiiiii! I’m going to Francesca’s. Anyone else want to come?

19 year old man #3: [loudly] I think we can walk from here, actually.

19 year old man #2: [very loudly] I found my shoes!

19 year old man #1: Let’s just go. Let’s go to Francesca’s.

[19 year olds walk up the street]

Mother: [internal dialogue – Getting to Francesca’s is not the point. We need to transcend the journey to Francesca’s in order to reach our own, individual, personal destination. Francesca’s is life.]

Father: [to baby, for another 20 minutes] Shhh, shhhhh, shhhhh.

 

[Play ends]

 

ressigma15631com6069Going to Francesca’s or Just Like That, You Found Out You Were Old: (A One Act Play)
1 comments
Leila
Leila

Gold. Small but perfectly formed.