Direct message (Twitter)
Hey someperson has been saying really badnasty rumors about u.. [link]
Thanks for the DM.
Sorry to hear that you got such an average Twitter Handle. Still, I guess ST1LLK1DR4UHL beats the billy-o out of ST1LLK1DR4UHL69.
I really appreciate you letting me know that someperson has been talking about me. Could you vague that up a little for me? Was it someperson or a person or someone? Or was it you? If you’re so concerned about me, why are you direct messaging me out of the blue with the URL and not say, demanding that someperson take it down. Maybe you’re not that good a friend, Melanie.
“Badnasty” sure sounds awful. That’s like when something is so terrible that you have to make up words to convey the extent of your horror. Or is it like when kids are hungry and angry at the same time and we call them “hangry”? Either way, I don’t want someone who’s hangry or badnasty talking about me. Have they talked about you too? Is this why you’ve made it your business to let me know? Dark times Melanie. I sympathise. Perhaps we are kindred spirits.
Anyway, Melanie, great to have you reach out. I don’t want to upset you, but I’m pretty sure you’re a bot. Is this really upsetting news like the horrible recognition that creepingly dawns on the lead character in the movie (SPOILER ALERT) Moon? If so, sorry about that and I hope your AI is not sophisticated enough to go into a spiral of nihilistic ennui. I hate that.
Good luck with stamping out badnasty wherever you find it. You’ve got a heck of a job in front of you but there’s no one I’d rather have on the case.