Today, Don Burke has been accused of a range of allegations, some of which are criminal. His statement in response is just as terrific as the statements of those accused before him which have been hilariously analysed in this piece, Can you at least proofread your shitty statement about the Sexual Misconduct allegations against you?. Allow me to interpret Burke’s …
Turnbexit: Should Australia leave the European Union / Malcolm?
Well, here we all are. Like most people, I started out vaguely interested in the issues and rapidly got busy with real life but I am now refocusing and am 100% committed to something. So, after what 47 weeks of the campaign, should Australia leave the European Union Malcolm Turnbull? Let’s recap on what have turned out to be the …
Election 2016: Gaffe Tally
This election is so long that it’s a struggle to maintain enthusiasm. In the most irrelevant and non-indicative poll of all time,Newspoll says Labor is winning today which is nice and hey, only SIX WEEKS TO HOLD THAT. Sportsbet still has the Coalition massively in front (1.30 to win versus 3.5 for a Labor win) so you do the maths. …
Election 2016: Election photography – spot the difference!
It’s hard to believe but it sometimes feels like the meedya are trying to manipulate us with their photography. You worry; we investigate. Test #1 Here is a picture of Barnaby Joyce from his Facebook page: And here’s Fairfaxtoday, winning at photography: Spot the difference! Barnaby Joyce wears the hell out of hats but Fairfax shows him without. Why? Test …
Election 2016: Policies that people really want
This is a long campaign. It’s such a long campaign that one struggles to imagine how the parties are going to fill each day with a relevant and meaningful policy. But for those parties whose grid is still not full, below you will find a list of policies that people are (a) crying out for and (b) are not going …
Election 2016: Day #5-7 The Debate and stuff
Well good on that little journo who found the link between Malcolm Turnbull and Mossack Fonseca. That’s hard and boring work. Snaps to that person! Gentle reader, you might needthis t-shirt. #justsaying Let’s talk about The Debate. Like most Australians, I did not watch the debate because I have a busy, busy life filled with real people. So I am going …
Election 2016: Day #4 – Toastneck
Elections are like weddings. You never get problems from the areas you anticipate: eccentric aunt who gets into racial arguments? No problem, put a cousin on aunt-duty and sort that shit out, but wait, unrelated, now you’ve run out of food. YOU DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING, DID YOU? So too, when the Liberals put QandA in the boring but seemingly …
Election 2016: a fitness review
If you are like any sensible Australian, including as it turns out The Australian, you are making your decision about this election on the basis of the fitness of the leader of the relevant party for office. And by fitness, I mean FITNESS. This handy guide will enable you to choose which fitness plan is for you. (PS: It’s worth clicking through …
Election 2016: 9 May – The day in pictures
“Ooooh, yes that is a large number of prime ministers to have in your life time.” “And it was then we discovered that if we shifted the money into Barbados, we wouldn’t have to pay capital Gains Tax at all. “ “What a lovely set of watermelons!” [Internal voice] “Don’t spill this beer. Don’t spill this beer. Don’t spill this …
Election 2016: a review of the parties’ websites
Let’s be honest: the campaign has been on for so long I stopped paying attention. It’s far too late to catch up now so this campaign, instead I am going to review the home page of party websites. Liberal Party Let’s start by saying what everyone else has: it’s nice that they never change their logo. It’s there in the …